perpetuallynervous

PLAYER
Name: Summi
Age: 20
Personal Journal: summi (dreamwidth)
E-mail: kai_beyblader@hotmail.com
AIM/MSN/etc: the_swagless (plurk)

CHARACTER
Name: Bertholdt Fubar
Canon: Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan)
Age: Appears 16
Timeline: Chapter 48
If playing another character from the same canon, how will you deal with this?: N/A

SPOILER WARNING

Bertholdt is the type of person who would easily go unnoticed. If not for his incredible height (6’3” tall!), his quiet and introverted personality would very likely make his presence overlooked. Described by himself as weak willed, he will preferably stand in the background unless necessary, always seen in the company of his childhood friend, Reiner Braun.


When he first joined the military, he aspired to join the Military Police, who serve directly under the king, in the innermost wall, Wall Sina. Part of the 104th trainee squad, Bertholdt placed 3rd in his squad’s graduation rank , hinting how skilled a fighter he is. Their instructor, however, mentioned an utter lack of initiative. It is also important to notice that in official character ratings, he was attributed a 1 or a 2 (out of 10) in self esteem. We can see proof of his lack of will and self belief when the main character, Eren, seeks Reiner and Bertholdt’s help, during their first times at boot camp, regarding the 3d maneuver gear. The time when the teens exchange their memories of the day when the outermost wall was attacked and successfully breached by the monstrous Colossal Titan, is the only time we see Bert speaking out and talking about himself, though he keeps his head lowered, hugging his knees as he speaks. He did not know of the attack until it was too late, when his home village was already taken over by the titans. He finishes his story by explaining the reason the wished to join the Military Police, telling he wished for a safe life inside Wall Sina and stating he’s willing to throw everything away if he is unable to reach his goals. He also describes himself as weak-spirited and of having “no will of his own”. This is also proved by that fact that Bertholdt appears to be highly dependent of Reiner. Not only is he always seen by his side, Bertholdt leaves all of the action and speaking to his childhood friend, rarely to never stating his own opinion or speaking out his mind. In fact, whenever we see him offering an opinion or a comment, he will usually quiet down if questioned further.

However, we are presented with a different side of Bertholdt when we reach his big revelation as none other than the Colossal Titan himself, alongside Reiner as the Armored Titan, revelation made by the latter. Even though there's still a questionable reason as to why were they the responsible of the brutal attack to Wall Maria (it is thought that their mission was to eradicate humanity but latter chapters bring to light a much more complex reason, that is yet to be fully explained), where it was breached, allowing loads of Titans to come in and wipe out part of the population and military, it is hinted that the boys were given a mission they were forced to accept.
After they escape human territory, right after a confrontation between Eren and the two traitors, that lead to the kidnapping of the main character and Ymir, we get to see an apparently colder, apathetic side of Bertholdt. Even though he had always stood back in dangerous missions and situations, risking himself for no one (but Reiner, another point I'll address later.), it is when confronted by Eren, regarding the first attack to the wall, where his mother had lost her life, that Bertholdt answers, with the most blank, emotionless expression that the protagonists loss had been “a pity”, showing absolute no remorse of his doings.

But it is not as simple as it seems. Bertholdt is a complex character, rather than a mere traitor who had been living among humans for years just to reveal his “true” heartless self in the end. Before I get to that part, I must address to Bertholdt and Reiner's relationship, seeing it plays a huge role on who Bertholdt is. As I've said before, they were childhood friends, both coming from the same hometown mentioned several times by Reiner as the place he'd do whatever it took to return to. It's fair to speculate that ever since tender age, Bert had been in Reiner's shadow, dependent of the latter's strong, outspoken personality. When they join the military, already in their teens, they both are clearly accomplice, never seen without one another, as I've mentioned. Now aware of their true identities and mission, it's easy to notice some of Bertholdt's reactions through the story.
If there's anything or anyone Bert cares for or shows to care for, it’s Reiner. Never risking his life for others, him being the exception. The always quiet Bertholdt, who always stands in the background, jumps right into action without a second thought, whenever his childhood friend's life is in danger. However, Reiner is not quite the same. As the years passed, living among the humans, Reiner couldn't help but to care and befriend his fellow squad members, as a worried Bert observed in complete silence. Clearly focused on their mission, he knows they cannot let themselves give in and care for those who they are meant to ultimately destroy.
Through the story, we see him becoming distressed and visibly bothered by Reiner's displays of friendship and affection towards others (perhaps with a hint of jealousy). There are two situations worth mentioning regarding this. The first, when Connie praises Reiner for never hesitating to place his life on the line for his comrades, to which Bertholdt replies with “it's his bad habit”, leaving a confused Connie to wonder. The second is good proof of both his displease with Reiner's change but also of his own lack of will. When Connie pulls the subject once more, now with Reiner himself present, thanking him for having saved his life, he asks Bertholdt if his friend had always been like that, to which he bitterly replies “Before, he was a warrior”. However, when Reiner confronts him with the meaning of his words, he silences himself.

He is very often seen wide eyed and sweating, hinting a state of nervousness, very likely due to the fear of having their identities uncovered. Unfortunately for him, his fear becomes reality, when his close friend is on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Bertholdt attempts to to motivate him, telling him they had the opportunity to return home together, that they were close. It works exactly the opposite as he wished, as Reiner thoughtlessly reveals their secret to Eren. When the latter suggests he's just too tired and not thinking straight, Bertholdt attempts to cover it, agreeing he's just too tired. All efforts are useless, as Reiner decides it is time to settle things once and for all.
Mikasa jumps in with murderous intent, badly wounds them, and we can once more see the weak spirited Bertholdt, panicking, crying in pain and fear, behind Reiner, who stands between him and Mikasa.

Making their escape (and after that display of coldness towards Eren and the pain of losing his mother), they are later found by their former squad mates and confronted with all the years they spent together, all the promises of fighting by each other side and growing old, all the good times they had spent and their friendship (and how Bert's sleeping positions were apparently masterpieces able to predict the weather /snort). Of how it had all been a lie and that they were nothing more than traitors. This is, without any doubt, the most important moment regarding Bertholdt. He has a mission he needs to accomplish, his squad mates pressuring him and calling him traitor. An enraged Eren trying to free himself to kill him and a Mikasa threatening to murder him as well if he does not release Eren. It is his breaking point. Many assumptions regarding Bertholdt are completely shattered as he lets it all out in a yell. “Who.. who even likes to kill people?!”. It's easy to see he's pouring his heart out, as he tears up and begs to be heard. He cares for all of them. He always did. He never wanted to kill anyone, he never wanted to cause pain and suffering. The mission must be carried out at all costs and he's troubled, feeling guilt and remorse for his actions. He begs their squad mates to come back for them and find them (why he asks for such is unclear, I suppose they are unable to leave once they arrive at their destination).

With this in mind, Bertholdt’s character can now be seen under a whole new light. He can be seen as one of the strongest characters, not only physically but emotionally. He is humanity’s biggest enemy, the Colossal Titan. He is the symbol and the target of all of humanity’s hatred and he is aware of it. During the years at boot camp, one can only imagine the manifestations of hatred towards the Colossal that he’s heard, all the soldiers he must have heard saying how they wished to kill him themselves. He’s done it all in silence. He built friendships with fellow squad members, he began to care, knowing he couldn't. He forced himself to hide all those feelings, focusing only on the mission he had in his hands to fulfill.
He built up a wall to hide himself and his emotions. When he describes himself as weak spirited and a coward, he’s quite the opposite. Specially when compared to Reiner, the image of strength, passionate, with a strong sense of duty but who lost track of his mission, gave in and broke down much earlier than Bertholdt.

Background: http://shingekinokyojin.wikia.com/wiki/Bertholdt_Fubar

Strengths:
- Graduated as 3rd best from his squad
- Battle skills rated a 9 out of 10
- Social skills rated a 9 out of 10, not because he’s highly talkative and friendly but perhaps due to how well he’s able to hide his identity and mission, while befriending other trainees and not raising suspicion towards himself
- Noted to be a top user of the 3D Maneuver Gear

Weaknesses:
- Lack of initiative and trust in his own qualities
- His self esteem is somewhere between a 1 and 2 out of 10
- Dependent of Reiner

Abilites:
- Outstanding fighting skills and use of the 3DMG
- Titan shifter, has the ability to transform into a 60 meters tall titan, addressed to as the Colossal Titan

First Person:
[A tall figure stood at the station, looking at his surroundings in obvious confusion. He had never seen such kind of railway vehicle, for starters. He surely had no idea how he got in it and much less where he was. Taking slow, careful steps, watching out for anything or anyone, he took notice of the sign on the wall.]

Ruby City..?

[It didn't ring any bell. He had never heard of any "Ruby City". His hands reached for the sword handles, defensive. He was rarely ever seen without the company of his childhood friend and now, he found himself all alone, in a place he did not know. His brows knitted, expression clearly showing his distress.]

Reiner..?

[He attempted to call out, only further worsening is affliction, as his call remained unanswered.]

Anyone?

Third Person:
He couldn't even pretend it didn't bother him. It did but he would always keep himself from stepping in and interfere. Instead, he stayed in his reading place, a chair at the corner of the trainees’ drawing room. From there, he could observe nearly the whole room, though he had little to no interest in what his fellow squad mates did to pass the time whenever training was over. There was a target to his observant eyes, none other than the tall blonde sitting by one of the tables, too busy cheerfully chatting with the others to even notice him. It was becoming a habit.
Reiner was well aware of why were they there for but he seemed to disregard every word he attempted to direct him, concerning their need to focus on fulfilling their task. He’d be quick at shaking them off, assuring Bertholdt he was mindful of it it, that he needed not to worry. They couldn't suspect them, right? What better than pretending to be their friend? All was going according to plan.

If only it was so simple. He knew his best friend better than he knew himself and everyday, a fear grew in his heart. “Pretending” was something his friend was incapable of, being the passionate and genuine person he knew he was. And he feared for him, for them both. For the success of their mission. He knew Reiner's heart was slowly giving in, letting those people in it, caring, all so visible in the way he smiled to them. His eyes quickly fixed the floor, a tight grasp on his chest making it slightly troubling to breath. Why, why weren't those smiles directed at him? Why was he, of all people, drifting away..? Reiner was all he had left and he was losing him to others, who were meant to be the enemy! He couldn't understand. He had always given his all to that man, who he had known ever since they were children. He had always stood beside him, trusting and treasuring him ever since. So what was it, what had he done to deserve such punishment..?